Setting Down the Bread of Idleness to Set Priorities

I have been eating the bread of idleness lately.

Proverbs 31:27 says, "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness." (KJV). You'd think that idleness would be impossible with four children and all the duties that are on my plate. It's not that I'm idly doing nothing, it is that I am busily doing nothing. I have been keeping up with the minimum, but the minimum only. There has been no excellence in what I do.

It is so easy to be busy, busy, and busy and yet have nothing to show for your efforts. I am the Queen of Useless Time. I can sit and daydream out a window like nobody's business. I can wander the house, looking busy while I wander, but not really accomplishing much. I find it difficult to focus on a task because, as the mother of a million kids (4, really), I am usually side-tracked in the middle of a job.

I have great desires from life: to be used mightily by God, to teach the children profoundly in homeschool, to be an excellent homekeeper, to be healthy and look good for my husband, to write wise words that help others. Yes, I am a good dreamer and schemer. But I lack the self-discipline needed to accomplish these goals, even though they are God-given desires. THAT is a fault!

Maybe there is a more appropriate – yet more painful - word than "fault"....I read today that "knowing what God wants you to do, yet not doingit, is sin." (from Write His Answer by Marlene Bagnull) I wrote "Ouch! Ouch!" in November 2004 next to those words in the book. Ten months later, I still say, "Ouch! Ouch!"

To keep from eating the bread of idleness, I need to set some priorities. Here, in the order of priorities (God - Husband - Children - Home - Self - Others) is what I think God wants me to do at this stage in my life. (I got this priority order from Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow, a book I recommend above all others for those who want to learn how to prioritize) :

1. God: Spend time daily with Him at an appointed time (schedule it like an appointment, as if Jesus is sitting in my rocker, waiting for me to join Him!). Pray. Read Scripture. Write down what I learn.

2. Husband: Be kind to him. Smile at him. Be a loving and helpful wife to the person God asked me to take care of for Him. Only I have been assigned this task. What a privilege to be the one assigned to this man! (And thank God he's handsome!).

3. Children: Spend individual time with the kids. Love them unconditionally. Teach them of God. Memorize Scripture with them.Teach them how to be good workers. Make them laugh. Allow them to play. Teach them how to take care of themselves and others.

4. Home: Manage the home efficiently so that it serves us rather than we serve it. Organize it, clean it, and schedule it. Make use of the home's servants which God has provided for me. Our servants are the washer, dryer, oven, crockpot, and dishwasher, among others. Use the home for hospitality as if Jesus just walked in, dusty, hungry and tired.

5. Myself: Love myself enough to say boldly, once a week or as needed, "I need time alone." Do frivolous things for myself that make me happy: buy a new book, buy nail polish, play with my hair, take a long bath by candlelight, buy a new pen or journal, create a beaded bookmark or learn to knit. Walk daily. Garden because I love it, even if it looks funky to others that I mix lettuce with flowers.

6. Others: My outside-the-home mission is to write to others of daily life and daily lessons. Be vulnerable in my writing (as I am here when I tell you I lack self-discipline! Don't tell anyone). Write as if God is sitting here, waiting to read my words. God has clearly asked me to do this for others.

What has He asked YOU to do? Teach Sunday school, lead a children'choir, stock the food pantry, be on the women's committee, help out in PTA, be the soccer coach? Whatever it is, keep focus on that task. Say "no" to anything else. Remind yourself to ask God before agreeing to add another task in this area of serving others. He may want you to focus on just one outside-the-home thing, so you can serve your family better.

Remember, God and family and home and yourself are to be placed before this last priority of others. That sounds backward, doesn't it? But, you can be best used by God when you have first given Him quality time, when your marriage is stable, when your children know they are loved, when your home is managed, and when you have taken care of yourself.

Today, think about each of these priorities in your life: God, Husband, Children, Home, Yourself and Others. Ask God what He wants you to focus on in each of these priorities.

Please don't eat the bread of idleness. I don't recommend it at all.

by Lori Seaborg